Why I Am An Online Domme
“When people go to work, they shouldn’t have to leave their hearts at home.”
-Betty Bender
I get asked a lot “Why do you do this? Don’t you want a ‘normal’ job?” I don’t mind being asked, and actually I’ve had quite a few ‘normal’ or ‘vanilla’ jobs so far in my lifetime, but none of them have called to me as much as online sex work has.
I’ve naturally excelled in school, in university, in retail, in call centres, in offices, and so on, but those places have always felt limiting. It was as if I was presenting a side of my personality that didn’t actually line up with who I know myself to be. But I stuck with those vanilla jobs for longer than I should have, frankly… And that’s because at my very essence I am a collector of information.
Gaining new skills, new knowledge and new resources from all kinds of areas whenever I was learning allowed me to be happy for a time. But, as most people who dredge through the workforce know, there isn’t much room for continual growth. It always stops some time. So, I was often disheartened by watching the mediocrity of my peers.
Once the novelty of acquiring a new skill had worn off and familiarity set in, I would start to feel antsy. And it was in those moments that I would especially notice that the people surrounding me didn’t actually know me at all.
They had only ever seen the polite, hard-working, focused front that I put on when absorbing information. What aspects of my actual personality I could safely divulge to my peers? Not very many of my interests are office appropriate and I’ve already spent enough time hearing unsolicited opinions about my body and my sexuality. Every day I worried about if I would share too much with someone who I shouldn’t have trusted, just because they were there beside me every day. And that’s no way to spend my time. I knew I could do better for myself.
So I took a leap and decided to focus my efforts on developing my skills as an online performer.
Years of retail work had left me with a strong customer service skill set. And even if I wanted to pummel most of the skeezy creeps who came in to ‘chat’ with my fellow shop ladies, I always managed to make them part ways with their money and leave with a smile on their face. It was a fun little game to see how creative I could be, so that I could make the whole experience of purchasing something in my store memorable for them.
Naturally, I thought I could just apply the same process to my phone and cam shows. These guys already knew that’s what they wanted from me: something memorable, something creative, something hot enough to make them want to hand over all their money to me.
But what I hadn’t planned on was how much I liked it once I started. Not just the freedom of self-sufficiency, or the creative license it afforded, or the incredibly sexy dress-code, but I found that I just can’t get enough of hearing about my clients’ desires.
There’s something fascinating, and also incredibly liberating, about the secrets that people are willing to divulge to me when we play together.
All the little desires that have been tucked away tightly in the monotony of day-to-day life, they’re suddenly allowed to be unfurled and explored without judgement.
I love to see the unfiltered side of people when they’re excited about their fantasies being accepted. Seeing a smile break across someone’s face for the first time… It always feels like a special moment and I can’t help but smile too, every single time.
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